Temptations
For about the past month, I've been struggling with the temptation to buy new things. Some I do need to complete a coordinate, but some I just want because it appeals to me in some manner. However, while not necessarily detrimental to my life and finances, I feel like it might come back to haunt me if I continue further with buying things on impulse. As such, I've decided to not spend any more until around my birthday, but on the inside it's rather upsetting and at times a real inner battle.
In traditional Tarot card readings, the Lovers Card represents not only love and relationships, but also choices that need to be made. Since the Lovers is part of the Major Arcana cards of the deck, the decision to be made will be a big one. If the card is drawn upside down, it can represent a bad choice and temptations, in addition to a bad relationship and betrayal.
I'm sure a lot of Lolitas have faced this issue: you're trying for one reason or another to save money, either just for a theoretical rainy day, or you really need to save cash for important events. So one day you're browsing Lacemarket, Closet Child, etc., with no intention to buy. Sometimes window-shopping can evoke a nice feeling too. Then you spot a dress/blouse/salopette/JSK/other item that makes your eyes pop. Your pulse picks up slightly and you can't stop looking at the item that just caught your attention. You simply continue to stare at it. When your eyes finally do move away, they stealthily slide towards your wallet. The reason-driven mental voice usually kicks in around now, reminding you in normal but audible tones that you are saving money and you cannot buy whatever it is that you are gazing at. The voice adds that you need the money for something else, or that you've been saving so well thus far, or even that you do not need another item since the closet is going to explode, as though it were Violet Beauregarde full of blueberry juice. Thus the internal war begins between the voice of reason and your emotional urge to click on the Buy Now button.
"War" is more of an overstatement in certain situations: if you merely found the item interesting, the fight is usually over rather quickly as Reason wins the day. You feel slightly down, but it's nothing horrible, and you move on to something else. If it's an item you did fall for, the fight gets more intense, and you're blue for a few days rather than briefly. However, in the end it goes away and everything is normal again. The true war begins when it's a dream item or holy grail item (though this isn't typical for everyone). Especially if the dream dress is $300 and up. Of course trading and selling stuff can be an immense help in this, but
sometimes nobody is interested in buying or trading the items you have
on offer. Unless you have actively put aside money for it, you were given either cash or the item itself as a gift, have a stable job, you're wealthy (self-made or born into), or have an alternate situation where you can afford to buy items for this price, this can hurt quite a bit. I'm not saying that you should weep for years if you cannot afford a high-priority Lolita item (I personally feel that's like going overboard), but there are some people who really do get upset about it. Especially if the item is a rare one that is rarely seen online, like
Elisabeth ~Bride of Death~,
Cat's Tea Party or
Iron Gate.
Who else saw the $1000+ price on this and wanted to sob?
Now, let's say you can afford to buy it. Money's right there, you could nab it. Then you have to prioritize. Just because you
can afford it outright doesn't necessarily mean you
should. What if there's an emergency that comes up in your life and you need money quickly? What if a bill was late and you have to have money for a late fee? What if your registration expires this month, or you need to get a gift for a friend who's been like family to you? To be honest, the money spent on a $300 dress set could be put towards something you need, like rent or a food bill. Is the dress more important than any of these? I like to think the majority of us would answer "absolutely not". These are things we need, rather than things we want. Paying for the necessities in our lives is obviously the better choice to make, and has a far more lasting impact. At the same time, that doesn't mean we can't or won't feel bad that we didn't get that dream dress we were pining over. That's human nature; doing the proper thing doesn't always make us feel better. However, in future, it WILL grant us peace of mind and actual internet access so we can find and love new items that we might be able to finally purchase in time. There's also the possibility that there's something else we do want more, and have to save for that first. Then the struggle for which we want more takes place, and that hurts just as much. In this case, you need to decide which will give you more of a lasting positive experience. Having someone help you make a decision can also be a relief at times, since outside advice will give a clearer perspective on the situation.
As for myself, my most recent temptation has been gathering items for my Nightmare Before Christmas coord. However, I honestly don't wish to spend more money: I splurged on Christmas, have to see the accountant in February, I got a monthly phone and food bill to cover, and for my birthday I wanted to go shark diving. As such, despite my strong desire to finish the coord, I have to stop myself from pressing the Buy Now button that will lead me to PayPal. If I don't, sooner or later when I'm short for paying for the diving course, I'll miss out on something I've wanted to do since I was a child. So I have to just hold on to my pennies, even though I'm a bit sorrowful that the coord won't get done for a while.
Any of you ever face a tough temptation that gave you some grief and pause? Feel free to comment and share stories about times you struggled with what you wanted. :D
Until another post
~BRP
